We all have heard of people who get themselves chained and tied and spanked and l
ashed, for getting high on fantastic ecstasies beyond imagination. I did not know until now though, that such a seemingly taboo experience and fairly common fare in our very own nation of prudes. Please do not congratulate yourself too much for guessing that we are talking of the great Indian Bollywood fare. Any dim wit who submits himself to the glorious opus called KI guess it. (If you are one of those few unlucky buggers who have no clue of what KI is, my tears flow for you).
I knew this was going to be one heck of a comedy when the titles titles were heralded by '... Grandson Entertainment Pvt. Ltd'. Oh, you should've seen the poignant logo, with an old man hand-holding a grandson. An enterprise with such a funny name is destined to cause intense stomach ache to its viewers who go ROTFL.
KI's scri
pt is familiar, in the well respected tradition of Bollywood. Which is to say there is no friggin' script. So, let me jump straight into the meat of it - most of which is in the steroidal biceps of Sylvest
er "Rambo" Stallone. The scene where he becomes a hooded saviour is chillingly picturised. He carried off the entire movie on his shoulders. Yes, the 40yr old Denise Richards tries to share some weight of the movie, on the strength of her sagging botox glamour. Brandon Routh's understated performance is lesson in acting, even if lasting only a few fleeting seconds. Nice casting there.
KI has a story line which can bait any typical Bollywood fan: "Hero meets song meets pain meets Bimbo meets song meets stupidity meets pain meets stupidity meets comedy meets pain meets songs meets interval meets more songs ..." The director gets extremely innovative in handling this complex story line and comes out with flying feathers.
KI's music is pure class stuff. The song sequences have been masterly weaved into the fine fabric of the movie. I would have liked to say something funny about porcupines and porridge here, but then those two don't go together well in any witty sentence. Anyway, watch out for a famous song sequence that I describe, later in this review.
KI's editor is a master craftsman by any standard. Any semblance of spatial and time coherence in the movie must entirely be attributed to his efforts. When I spoke to him after his stellar work on this movie, he spake thus (actual real words):
Me (interviewer): Hey Ed! Excellent piece of editing. How do you feel, now that you are done?
He (interviewee): Sometimes I feel like spinach. But I know that I am a potato. They don't make microwaves that fit me in. Do they?
Me: I do not know much about vegetables (wink). I like ham though, like KI (wink wink)
-x-o-x-
I left him and defying death, waded through fans who are all ga-ga about some mutant phenomenon called size-zero, and managed to get to the hugely popular lead female cast too:
Me (interviwer): Hello 'lead female cast' (mutter: Bimbo)
She (He ?): I play a role of great depth in this movie. It is a performance oriented role. If the story needs it, I do not mind exposing. My male co-star is a joy to work with. In this movie, he doesn't do me ...
Me: (mutter: Bimbo! no wonder he doesn't do you)
She: Hey, What's your problem? What are you staring at?
Me: You look a lot like your Dad (mutter: Bimbo).
-x-o-x-
It goes without saying that KI has memorable dialogues and some extremely funny one-liners. It is a pity though, that I can't recollect any. So I made some up for you (warning: PG-13 rated):
Male lead: Where is this sound coming from? gaaaaaaa
Sidekick: WHERE IS THIS BLOODY SOUND COMING FROM? GAAAA AAAAAA
Male lead: Why are *you* shouting? gaaaaaa
Sidekick: GAAAAA AAAA AAAA AAAA
-x-o-x-
Male supporting role: I badly need to sleep with my wife.
Male lead: What do you mean? You haven't done your wife yet? (mutter: why the duck am I saying this awful dialogue)
Male supporting role: (mutter: why the duck am *I* doing such a hopeless role?) No, the female lead doesn't allow me to do my wife.
Sidekick: GAAAAA AAAA AAAA (mutter: GAAAAA AAAAA AAAAA)
(just a few feet away)
Female lead: All men want only one thing.
Female support role: What is that? (mutter: Aw gawd, who cast this bimbo as the lead?)
Female lead: (suggestively looks somewhere below the abdominal region of the female support role)
Female support role: No no. I trust my husband. He won't do me.
Audience: GAAAAAA AAAA AAAA
- cut to a song sequence -
Bimbo, Bimbo hey! Bimbo Bimbo
Bimbo, Bimbo
- gyrations, pelvic thrusts -
Bimbo, Bimbo hey! Bimbo Bimbo
Bimbo, Bimbo
- more gyrations, even more thrusts -
...
...
Finally, the only thing that bothered me in an otherwise unadulterated fun entertainer: How did they get a smart fellow like Akshay to sign up for this movie? To force his call sheets, did they make him drink that spiked orange juice or the drugged protien drink, as shown on big screen? Did they dupe him too into believing that Arnie is playing a role in this movie? These are some mysteries that will remain unfathomable for ever in the lore of world cinema.
Anyway, such minor intellectual curiousities and reservations aside, I think KI is a must watch family comedy. Depends on how retarted a family you have.
-x-o-x-
ashed, for getting high on fantastic ecstasies beyond imagination. I did not know until now though, that such a seemingly taboo experience and fairly common fare in our very own nation of prudes. Please do not congratulate yourself too much for guessing that we are talking of the great Indian Bollywood fare. Any dim wit who submits himself to the glorious opus called KI guess it. (If you are one of those few unlucky buggers who have no clue of what KI is, my tears flow for you).I knew this was going to be one heck of a comedy when the titles titles were heralded by '... Grandson Entertainment Pvt. Ltd'. Oh, you should've seen the poignant logo, with an old man hand-holding a grandson. An enterprise with such a funny name is destined to cause intense stomach ache to its viewers who go ROTFL.
KI's scri
pt is familiar, in the well respected tradition of Bollywood. Which is to say there is no friggin' script. So, let me jump straight into the meat of it - most of which is in the steroidal biceps of Sylvest
er "Rambo" Stallone. The scene where he becomes a hooded saviour is chillingly picturised. He carried off the entire movie on his shoulders. Yes, the 40yr old Denise Richards tries to share some weight of the movie, on the strength of her sagging botox glamour. Brandon Routh's understated performance is lesson in acting, even if lasting only a few fleeting seconds. Nice casting there.KI has a story line which can bait any typical Bollywood fan: "Hero meets song meets pain meets Bimbo meets song meets stupidity meets pain meets stupidity meets comedy meets pain meets songs meets interval meets more songs ..." The director gets extremely innovative in handling this complex story line and comes out with flying feathers.
KI's music is pure class stuff. The song sequences have been masterly weaved into the fine fabric of the movie. I would have liked to say something funny about porcupines and porridge here, but then those two don't go together well in any witty sentence. Anyway, watch out for a famous song sequence that I describe, later in this review.KI's editor is a master craftsman by any standard. Any semblance of spatial and time coherence in the movie must entirely be attributed to his efforts. When I spoke to him after his stellar work on this movie, he spake thus (actual real words):
Me (interviewer): Hey Ed! Excellent piece of editing. How do you feel, now that you are done?
He (interviewee): Sometimes I feel like spinach. But I know that I am a potato. They don't make microwaves that fit me in. Do they?
Me: I do not know much about vegetables (wink). I like ham though, like KI (wink wink)
-x-o-x-
I left him and defying death, waded through fans who are all ga-ga about some mutant phenomenon called size-zero, and managed to get to the hugely popular lead female cast too:
Me (interviwer): Hello 'lead female cast' (mutter: Bimbo)
She (He ?): I play a role of great depth in this movie. It is a performance oriented role. If the story needs it, I do not mind exposing. My male co-star is a joy to work with. In this movie, he doesn't do me ...
Me: (mutter: Bimbo! no wonder he doesn't do you)
She: Hey, What's your problem? What are you staring at?
Me: You look a lot like your Dad (mutter: Bimbo).
-x-o-x-
It goes without saying that KI has memorable dialogues and some extremely funny one-liners. It is a pity though, that I can't recollect any. So I made some up for you (warning: PG-13 rated):
Male lead: Where is this sound coming from? gaaaaaaa
Sidekick: WHERE IS THIS BLOODY SOUND COMING FROM? GAAAA AAAAAA
Male lead: Why are *you* shouting? gaaaaaa
Sidekick: GAAAAA AAAA AAAA AAAA
-x-o-x-
Male supporting role: I badly need to sleep with my wife.
Male lead: What do you mean? You haven't done your wife yet? (mutter: why the duck am I saying this awful dialogue)
Male supporting role: (mutter: why the duck am *I* doing such a hopeless role?) No, the female lead doesn't allow me to do my wife.
Sidekick: GAAAAA AAAA AAAA (mutter: GAAAAA AAAAA AAAAA)
(just a few feet away)
Female lead: All men want only one thing.
Female support role: What is that? (mutter: Aw gawd, who cast this bimbo as the lead?)
Female lead:
Audience: GAAAAAA AAAA AAAA
Bimbo, Bimbo
...
...
Finally, the only thing that bothered me in an otherwise unadulterated fun entertainer: How did they get a smart fellow like Akshay to sign up for this movie? To force his call sheets, did they make him drink that spiked orange juice or the drugged protien drink, as shown on big screen? Did they dupe him too into believing that Arnie is playing a role in this movie? These are some mysteries that will remain unfathomable for ever in the lore of world cinema.
Anyway, such minor intellectual curiousities and reservations aside, I think KI is a must watch family comedy. Depends on how retarted a family you have.
-x-o-x-
